The Theory

Introduction

I have a framed Dalai Lama quote in my office that says: “If anything I said is useful to you, I’m glad. If not, don’t worry, just forget about it.” Please keep this great advice in mind as you continue exploring this site.

Members of our species are interested in two pursuits: The pursuit of survival and the pursuit of happiness. A human experience that doesn’t pertain to one or the other is inconsequential. By extension it can be said that our brains have two modes of operation: A Survival mode, and A ‘Thrival’ mode (thank LD), the latter being the pursuit of happiness mode.

This website attempts to organize and make available what I learned so far about the pursuit of happiness, from my vantage point as a psychiatrist in clinical practice for more than three decades. Given the many years that I have been in this business, I better have learned some relevant things about the pursuit of happiness. Moreover, some of what I learned, dare I dream, may be generally useful and thus worth sharing.

The clinical psychiatric point of view is quite relevant to the pursuit of happiness. In modern medicine, the fields of general surgery and internal medicine are concerned with survival matters. The core business of psychiatry has very little to offer in that realm (to the chagrin of some psychiatrists who are envious of the heroics that “real doctors” can display as they fight to protect their patients’ survival). Psychiatry is assigned a role in the less drama-filled (but, in my opinion, no less important) other area of human interest — the pursuit of happiness.

Over the years I’ve been in practice I have come to realize that, fundamentally, there is only a single psychiatric diagnosis: Ineffective pursuit of happiness. I have never seen a person who voluntarily sought the help of a psychiatrist for any other reason but the perception that their pursuit of happiness is not going as well as it might. (This point is undesrscored by experience with a clinical state called euphoric-mania. Euporic-mania is a very serious psychiatric pathology. A central component of the disorder is an irrational, if not delusional, conviction that the patient’s pursuit of happiness is unfolding at peak form. Consistently, while in the sate of euphric-mania, as a rule, patients do all they can to avoid psychiatric intervention, which actually makes sense — who would want a questionable authority figure getting in the way of their pursuit of happiness when it is going exceedingly well?)

This website is organized into three sections: Definitions, Theory, and Practice. The definitions sections is important because definitions contribute to the quality of communication by increasing the likelihood that the meaning of the (defined) terms used is shared by the participants in a discussion. The Theory section attempts to delineate the logical underpinnings of the pursuit of Happiness, and (at least some of) the laws that govern it. The theory aims to provide a foundation — a rational justification, for the Practice. I believe that both the theory and the practice presented are worth your consideration given the importance of the pursuit of Happiness and the paucity of useful instructional materials pertaining to it.

A theory worth its salt must be free of inconsistencies, inner conflicts, and paradoxes. I believe that, if nothing else, the material proposed in the following is internally consistent. I would appreciate hearing of any inconsistencies that may have escaped my attention. So, if you come across anything that seems conflicted, inconsistent, or simply wrong please let me know (either by leaving a comment on the page in which you see a problem or by emailing me at drraphaely@aol.com {yes — aol, and oddly a little proud of it!}).

And here is an example (a teaser, if you will) of something I learned: In most ways, the pursuit of happiness is very different from the pursuit of survival. But these two processes share an important aspect. Both pursuits take place on two levels: The individual level and the group level; they are different but inseparable. Survival of the individual is valuable only if it happens together with the survival of the group (the ‘group’ can be anything from one’s family to the Species). My survival is interesting to me only as long as it’s not just  my survival. If I am the only one to survive, survival has no meaning or value to me. This principle may be less obvious in, but it is no less applicable to, the pursuit of happiness. It takes place at the individual level, i.e., ‘my pursuit of happiness’, and simultaneously at the group level — the collective pursuit of happiness. An individual’s pursuit of happiness is meaningful and valuable only when it takes place on the backdrop of an effective pursuit of happiness of a group to which the individual belongs: It’s not an attractive proposition, to be the only member of a group who is doing well in the pursuit of happiness (depending on the specific makeup of the group, it can be outright dangerous). The point here is that an effective pursuit of happiness at the individual level is conditioned on the efficacy of the pursuit of happiness of the group. It brings to mind a Eugene V. Debs quote: “While there is a lower class, I am in it, while there is a criminal element, I am of it, and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free.” We are in this thing together. Hence, for all of us, I hope you find this useful in your pursuit of Happiness. But if not, don’t worry, just forget about it.

And lastly, this introduction would be incomplete without listing the sources from which I learned what I learned so far. The primary source of the vast majority of what I learned so far has been, and remains, my patients for which I can not express enough gratitude (especially keeping in mind their co-pays).

The second source of what I learned so far is Buddhist psychology and philosophy. As I have come to appreciate, Buddhist thinkers have been committed to figuring out the ins-and-outs of the pursuit of happiness for more than 2,500 years. As a member of a guild that has been around for a little more than a hundred years with exactly the same interest, not tapping into Buddhist knowledge seems inexcusable.

A third important source of what I learned so far have been my formal teachers and mentors. I am incalculably grateful to my good friend and role-model, Dr. Johan Verhulst, as well as Dr. Gary Tucker, and Dr. Marsha Linehan for their invaluable contribution to what I learned so far.

And lastly, there is everybody else. You know who you are, and I thank you.

D. E. Raphaely, MD

March, 2016 (updated March 2023)

Seattle, Washington