Calm

‘Calm’ is a state of observing without reacting. It is a very desired state of mind, for two main reasons:  First, a calm mind is best suited to making good choices. Second, calm is better suited for learning than any other state of mind. Since making good choices and learning are of the utmost importance in the pursuit of happiness, cultivating calm is well worth the effort.

As per its definition, there are two parts to being calm: observing and not reacting. ‘Observing’ is usually an automatic part of being awake and engaged (there is a mindful approach to ‘observing’, which I will address in the discussion of attention management). ‘Observing’ implies an alert connectedness with one’s reality, which distinguishes ‘calm’ from apathy. The apathetic state of mind may appear similar to ‘calm ‘ but it is inherently different: Disengagement, which is the centerpiece of apathy, renders it useless in the pursuit of happiness (remember that ‘Passion’ is one of the prerequisites for an efficient pursuit of happiness, as discussed elsewhere: https://whatilearnedsofar.com/theory/happiness/).

The second component of ‘calm’ is ‘non-reactivity’. Developing the ability to refrain from reacting is typically not easy, because reacting to that which we observe tends to be automatic (and consequently, habitual). Therein lies the key part of the practice of cultivating calm — developing the ability to overcome the habit of reacting (to that which is perceived as reality).

It is of the utmost importance to remember that not-reacting is not the same as doing nothing or being passive. The mindful alternative to ‘reaction’ is ‘action’ (not ‘inaction’). ‘A reaction’ is a response that is chosen on the basis of the judgment of something. ‘An action’, in comparison, is a response that is chosen on the basis of one’s values.

Reactions follows judgments. Without a judgment there can be no reaction. Therefore, cultivating calm can happen by either developing the ability to refrain from making automatic judgments altogether or, by developing the ability to let go of automatic judgment (following the realization it has been made), which practically, is more within reach. Either way: To cultivate calm one needs to cultivate a non-judgmental mind.

Judgment is an integral part of the brain’s data processing. As data makes its way toward consciousness it is automatically judged — labeled, as either positive (good, and therefore attractive) or negative (bad, and therefore repulsive). The practice of cultivating a non-judgmental mind aims to “trick” or “hack” the system and ultimately bypass this design, resulting in a mind that is free of (both positive and negative) judgments: A calm mind that perceives things as they are, without a superimposed (and distorting) label of ‘goodness’ or ‘badness’.

The automatic-judgment and reflexive-reaction system is remarkably effective in the pursuit of survival. It offers the advantage of speed, and speed is of the utmost importance in life-or-death situations.  (This is discussed in detail in the Feelings chapter.) However, in the pursuit of happiness speed is largely irrelevant. Therefore, the system that leads to reflexive reactivity does not contribute to the pursuit of happiness. Worse yet, since reactions imply the loss of calm they also imply the loss of the benefits associated with it (as mentioned above — improved choice-making and improved ability to learn from one’s experience). Therefore, it can be said that in the pursuit of happiness, the habit of automatic judgment and the reflex reaction has a much greater cost than benefit.

Judgment interferes with making good choices by replacing (logical) analysis — a time consuming process, with the faster reflexive conclusion. Judgment interferes with learning by distorting reality. When the brain labels perceived data as positive or negative, the labeling distorts the true (actual, or pure) nature of the data. For example, the mid-winter cold ocean water is not ‘bad’ in its essence any more than the warm water of a hot spring qualify is ‘good’. The ‘goodness’ or ‘badness’ are not in the phenomena, the water in the example, but in the relationship the observer has with the phenomena; in the preferences of the person experiencing the phenomenon. The water is water, cold or warm. The “goodness” or “badness” pertain to the subjective preference of the person in the water, not to the objective nature of water. The judgment is an ‘add-on’ rather than a discovery.

Automatic judgment is often treated by the brain as if it were an observed, integral part of the phenomenon experienced. Since in reality the judgment is a manufactured additive to the phenomenon experienced, any judgment, by definition, is always a distortion that gets in the way of appreciating the objective, true nature of the reality.

Buddhist practitioners aspire to develop an ability to perceive reality as it is, sans judgment: The icy water is neither good nor bad, it is just cold water. The hot spring water, similarly, is neither good nor bad, it is just warm water, and so on. The “goodness” or “badness” are in the preference of the person in the water, not in the water.

It is extremely difficult to establish an ability to relate to reality without judgment; it is perhaps out of reach of the ordinary person (especially when pain is involved). Ordinarily, the brain demands labeling of the data as a part of  processes it undergoes on its way into consciousness.

It may be impossible to retrain one’s brain to give up on the demand for a label on incoming data. But, it is possible to train the brain to let go of the initial, automatic-judgment label and replace it with a label that is non-judgmental.

It is as if the brain can be satisfied with any label, as long as it is not contradicting the essence of that which is being perceived. With practice, it is possible to replace the automatic judgment label (the ‘positive’ to ‘negative’, or ‘good’ to ‘bad’ labeling) with a different kind of label — a label that is without judgment. As mentioned above reactions follow judgments or, in other words, the absence of judgment negates the possibility of a reaction. Therefore the ability to label experienced reality with a non-judgmental label negates reflexive reactivity (i.e., attraction or repulsion), promotes calm and supports the pursuit of happiness.

In all likelihood, the question on your mind is at this point is “What is a non-judgment label?” A fair question indeed. The answer is that a non-judgmental label is a descriptor that meets two criteria: Firstly, it needs to be detached from, or off the ‘goodness to badness’ (positive to negative value) continuum and secondly, it needs to describe everything (everything!) accurately, so that it is never contradicting the reality being perceived. These two criteria are met with the word ‘interesting‘.

‘Interesting’ is a nonjudgmental term. It is neither positive nor negative. Both subjectively positive (e.g., the warm water of a hot spring) and subjectively negative experiences (e.g., the icy ocean water) are equally interesting. Furthermore, the term ‘interesting’ offers an accurate description of everything: Everything in reality (or in creation) is interesting.

All that is, is interesting. If not directly, through the interconnectedness of everything — if one thing is interesting, everything is ultimately, at least somewhat, interesting. It may be that you don’t find anything interesting in the phenomenon of water (icy or warm). Perhaps you are interested in say, dinosaurs or in the British Royal Family (which may not be different enough examples to illustrate my point, but still). Well, water plays a role in their stories, so by extension, it would be interesting. An overarching argument in support of the claim that everything is interesting, if one is absolutely needed, is that consciousness itself is (very, very) interesting so anything that registers in consciousness is interesting, if not in its own right, as an expression of the consciousness phenomenon. The bottom line is that labeling any experience in consciousness as ‘interesting’ is never a mistake.

The practice of cultivating calm comes down to replacing judgment with interest. Relabeling without judgment is an initial step. The next, more challenging step, is to uncover that which is genuinely interesting in the experience. To move from the mere label ‘interesting’ to uncovering that which is truly interesting. And that cannot be faked. Each of us knows the difference between just saying something is interesting and being engaged with something because it is interesting.

Finding that which is genuinely interesting to you in a given experience can be challenging. The challenge is greater the more the experience is associated with pain. We become automatically uninterested, not-curious, when we are in pain. Attention, by the survival-protecting evolutionary design, focuses on the pain when it shows up in consciousness, and on finding relief from it. Indeed, it is difficult to learn new information when we are in pain. Pleasures can have a similar self-centering effect.

(This section is complementary to the Cultivating Calm chapter in the Practice section, which you can reasonably skip to now by clicking on the following link: https://whatilearnedsofar.com/practice/cultivating-calm/ .)